It's a Jacob Thing

My oh my!!

I didn’t seriously expect Taylor Lautner to look like that. His body is OOOHHHHsome!!!! (insert dripping saliva here). I mean, the Jacob I saw from the first Twilight installment have a body of 16-year-old wimpy daddy’s boy. But lookie-lookie now, his body is worth drooling for. In fact, he was the only one worth watching in the film. I got bored on the first 10 minutes and I got disappointed on the following one.

I watched the movie alone. Yea! Some “weird” stuff I do to satisfy my weirdness. So, I watched the movie alone and when I said alone, I literally and blatantly mean ALONE. Which means even if I scream, jump, run around the cinema house, no one would care or yell how stupid of me to that because just like what I said, I BLATANTLY watched New Moon alone.

There were so many things I would like to complain about this latest instalment. I mean don’t expect me to complain like other whiners who keeps comparing the 200+ something pages of book to an hour and a half movie. I’m not like that. I only have three things to complain.

One, the make-ups. I mean, hello! There’s like so many make-up line that could help produce a more “vampirish” look. The make-up artist must have been kidding when nobody even bother to check on how the make-up would look on screen. I mean if I’m ever gonna see Edward Cullen on real life I would definitely gush and say: “Hello Edward! Nice face powder, can I ask some so I could make some pancakes.” Seriously!

The second thing to complain was Bella. I know Bella’s character was sorta stupid, help-me-I’m-emo-type of teeny but to show in the flick that being emo and stupid is cool, is absolutely not advisable. Talk about riding bikes with fat, old, ugly strangers and cliff-jumping. But then I should be thankful for Bella’s stupidity because if it wasn’t for her idiocy, Jacob wouldn’t take his shirt off. Yum!

“Will you marry me?”. That was Edward’s last line on the film, and then it all turned black. I was actually shocked it ended like that. I mean it seems that after or the free 6-pack-sightings, the film ended like that? I didn’t even felt giddy like I felt o the previous one. I think Catherine Hedgewick is better than this latest director. She just know how to interpret the book and manage to combine them all in a flick. This recent one wasn’t a boo-boo. Or maybe it’s too mean to say such. But I wasn’t really satisfied. Maybe I expected too much.

Hmmm... it wasn’t actually that bad. Say 3 stars for this one. I would have given it 2 stars but because of Jacob’s free skin show, it garnered 3. Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Taylor! Taylor! Taylor! My oh my. He’s growing beautifully and vainly.

You may ask what are the things that made me drool for Jacob aside from his god-like bod? Hmmm.. let’s see.. it’s probably his furry alter-ego. I have this thing for something furry. For me, everything furry is cute and adorable (that explains the long list of dogs I have). And I really felt for him when his wolf-self showed tears when the Emo-Bella said “Don’t make me choose, blah blah blah, it’s Edward. It was always been Edward”. Actually reading New Moon and watching Taylor Lautner’s portrayal of the said character made me a bit confuse which team I’m on. Team Jacob or Team Carlisle... err... I mean Team Edward.

And the last Jacob that really caught my attention was when he asked Bella to stay... for Charlie... for him. But you know what happened. As expected emo Bella went to see Edward with Alice and the rest is history.