Friendly business spoofs

Are you looking for a job? Are you in need of an application letter? Well, lookie-lookie dear reader, this is your lucky day for you have encountered the perfect site to learn from other people.

I am actually teaching in one of the schools here in Negros and one of my cooperating teacher asked me to help her check the papers. And nope, I’m not complaining. Actually it brought me down memory lane. And nope, I’m not sweet-talking for grades.

I know some of you played Little-Miss-Teacher. You know those little role play games where you are the teacher and you wore your mom’s heels and you wrote ABC on the wall with crayons and colored chalks, and your students are your stuff toys. Yup, that’s what I play when I was a youngin’ and there’s no need to deny that you’ve played that game too.

So going back to my paper works, I was excited to check papers that contain little life stories of the students. They were actually asked to write two letters: a business letter and a friendly letter.

And below are some of their works that made me smile and at the same time made me sad. I mean seriously, these are works of 2^nd year high school students. Well, this is not what I expect, but then, you be the judge.

NOTE: I didn’t post this one for you to laugh and judge these high school students. I posted this for us to learn from them and for us to understand and be enlightened that there is a system to be changed. That maybe through this, you can start the change in that system by helping or tutoring your siblings or other people who have difficulties.

Business letters:

Exhibit A:

Dear Mr. XXXX,

According for my reading you are looking for a business coarse graduate were in almost 21-25 yrs. old are allowed.

So, I'm 22 yrs. of age and active person that experiencing a lot of business in my aunt's bake shop last 2 yrs. when I was 2nd yr.

I really love hardworking and flexible hours that can I encounter under your control.
If ever you choosing me as one of your employeer, I really appreciate it. And I will make sure that will not be regret and trying all my best. My contact no. # 0920xxxxxxx

Closing,
[Insert sender's name here]

EXHIBIT B:

Dear Ms. XXX,

A pleasant day to you. Based on what Im heard your company looking for a store manager. i am willing to take that kind of appurtunity i because I love waking I am already 22 years of age my business course graduate is businessman Ill been already experience what is job. Im so very happy to work on your campany and Im saw willing to work and flexable hours as I can
Im [Insert sender's name here]. I am living in [insert address] i am very excited for the interview happened and I will do my best any way skills do be the one of the store manager. This is my contact no. 0909xxxxxxx I am hoping you discision good and nice

loving yours he he he

[Insert sender's name]

EXHIBIT C:

Dear Sir [Insert first Name],

First of all I would like to greet you a pleasant day. I have read the newspaper that you are looking For an store manager. And I am that person who is qualified to be a store manager. If you don't mind sir, I am a former store manager in SM city. But because of the family difficulties I was dropped out or I was fired. I am [insert sender's name here] 21 yrs of age and I am a Business course - graduate in the ZZZ school and I am a male with the height of 5'6" and i already experience to be a store manager for almost 2 to 3 years and I am a hard working person and willing to work a flexible hours

Respectfully Yours,

[Insert name here]

Friendly Letters

EXHIBIT A:

Dear L,

H!first of all i would like to great you a happy pleasant! You know already my attitude. But i will introduces my self again to you. Im E and im already your close friend. And my favorite artist is angel locsin and my favorite singer is sarah and carpenters. And my favorite song is love me for what i am. That was song of carpenters. And my favorite sports is volleyball. I like to sing in the house. And my hobbies is playing computer and internet. And i have a message to you Always take care your health. And don't forget im your close friend. And study alway.

With love,

E

EXHIBIT B:

Dear M,

First of all I would like to great you a "Pleassant Morning".

Konichiwa!! Best, thanks for being a good friend to me and thank you for everything that you did to me. Best, sorry for all the wrong things that I've done to you. And Best I wish that our friendship won't last forever. For me best you are the best, best, friend in our classroom... For all my friend you are really the great friend for me...

Best if you are bloody but don't be unbowed because you have faith and trust.. Best don't be change because you are the good, beautiful and great friend to me.... "More power"!!

Your Close Friend,

J

EXHIBIT C:

Dear B,

H!Im C I like to play Basketball and I have my own uniform for basketball and you what is your favorite play?? And I like blue colors and green and you what up favorite color?? You have a girlfriend or not yet? Hmmm!!! I have a target I mean I have a girlfriend. Bow you know Vit. Water and it is fresh to drink and it is nature drink alwayz remember drink alwayz Vit.Water Now you know!!!

Your truly, C

Except for the names of receiver, sender and contact numbers, everything was copied as it is. Verbatim, indeed. some of you maybe laughing crazily after reading this entry. I wont take it against you, but I hope after you laugh your heart out, you will realize that this is a serious matter. And maybe you can ask yourself, are these the kind of high school students we really want to produce?

P.S.

Hopefully, you're laughing you're heart out because you are PERFECTLY BRILLIANT in writing letters.

What a week that was!

whew! I'm finally glad that the week is over. And hurray! I'm so happy to know that my heart still beats and that my brain still function - in short, I'm alive!

My week started with the wrong class schedules. So I have no choice but to re-enroll, and re-validate all the subjects that I wish to enroll. it was tiring because you have to adjust again to new classmates and new teachers. Plus, you have to catch up with the lessons because the new teacher wont give you a special quizzes and assignments and your new classmates wont lend you their notes because they are not copying. What's the point of borrowing one anyway?

The there's a seminar. Strings of it. Seminar for student interns. Seminar about how to's, like: how to act properly if you don't like your cooperating teacher. Or rather let's say, if you're COOPERATING teacher is not cooperating. How to write you're lesson plan, how to develop your personality and how to be professional.

Internship is like the Gas Chamber of Future Educators. You have no choice but to do even if your GPA is 1 or even if you are a consistent Dean's List or if you are the son/daughter of whoever from wherever. Its the testing ground if you're ready or not. And ready or not, you have to show them what you got. Oh! And why Gas Chamber? Well, how do I explain this one..? hmmm..

just see Chamber as the School ; where the Gas is the system and the Teachers (whether its your cooperating teacher or not) are the Nazis.

err... you get the point.

What's most challenging about it is that you are introduced to the system. With that, you'll learn how the system works, and how to be comfortable if the students greet you: "Goood Mooorning Mha'am" ; "Goooood Moooonenng, Sirr". You'll will always be t6rained on how to deal with colleagues and bosses - Your Principal and Your cooperating teacher. Well if you're fortunate enough, you wont be assigned to teachers who are too self-centered, the type of teachers that dont give their interns a chance to learn and the type of teachers that dont want their interns to develop and become AS BETTER or WAY BETTER than them. In vernacular, "Kulbaan masapawan". Other than that, consider yourself more fortunate if you are not assigned to teachers who are "EVERYBODY's FRIEND". Take note! I said, NOT ASSIGNED. Say what? What is an "EVERYBODY's FRIEND"type of cooperating teachers? These type of cooperating teachers are too sweet, too kind, too talkative, too trusting, too helpful, too loving, too supportive, too grumpy, too happy, too critical, and so on (just insert the word TOO, in every adjective you can think of.). I'm not saying being sweet, happy, kind, talkative, critical, trusting, helpful, blah blah, is bad. But the word TOO makes it different - yes, bad for that matter. Usually, cooperating teachers who are like these makes the Intern do the teaching for whole week (hmmm... good training for voice modulation, classroom management, and so on.). They also allow student Interns to do the math for the grades of the year/section they handle (which is also good, because all of us need to fall in love with Math *gags*). And lastly, they introduce the Interns to their colleagues, members of the school community, friends, and family (yup, it does happen sometimes). Maybe you are wondering why I am complaining about this when everything I have written here is two-thumbs up. Why am I really complaining? Well, remember when I said that the word TOO makes everything bad. So if your cooperating teacher is TOO kind, TOO helpful (you need her help so you can have your teaching demos) and TOO supportive and you will be teaching for a whole week, good training indeed. But what do the cooperating teacher do, aside from receiving the moolah, if we are all doing their task? If you're lucky, they sit somewhere, flip some magazine, brochures of avon, fullerlife, tupperware, natasha, msi, and so on, instead of listening to you and guiding you with whatever you're babbling. But most of the time, they go AWOL. It is during these times you'll appreciate the precious Lesson Plan. Once, I heard one of my senior Intern praise the Almighty for enlightening her to do her Lesson Plan the night before. If it wasnt for that enlightenment, her class would've been a mess. Going back, aside from the sitting with the handful of brochures, some "EVERYBODY's FRIEND" type of cooperating teacher gets TOO comfortable with you so they become TOO talkative. Take note! There goes the word TOO again. And what do they do when they are like this? They gossip with you. Everything! Everything you NEED NOT TO KNOW, becomes everything you HAVE TO KNOW. And to please her/him, you also have to REMEMBER everything she/he said because for sure the next day she/he will ask you where did you two end the convo. Or if she/he have already reached the gossip limit of her/his little memory back, she/he will ask you what's the missing sentence of whatever you're gossiping about. If these are the case you get a daily dose of SNN Morning Edition. Now, did I miss some TOOs? Let's see...

• Too kind. CHECK
• Too supportive. CHECK
  
• Too comfortable. CHECK
• Too talkative. CHECK
• Too trusting. that's what is missing.
  

Now, how to know if your "EVERYBODY's FRIEND" cooperating teacher really, really, really, really, 3000000000000000000x, trust you. Well, she/he asks you to do the grocery for her, or if its a matter of hygienic crisis, s/he'll ask you to pull out white hairs from her/his precious balding hair. CONGRATULATIONS! From there you can apply what you learned bout behaviorism, constructivism and ACTIVISM. :)

Yay! Dont walk out on me yet. Look, I'm not being mean here or anything. And I'm not even saying that was a bad seminar. It was a HELPFUL seminar. It allows us how to be prepared and how to enjoy every shift and how to apply what we learned. And the bonus part was, learning how to put on make-up and dressing up well. Personality development, that is.

Aside from strings of seminar, I also have to do give attention to my extra curricular activities like being the Tactical Officer of some High School. It wasnt easy but it was fun. Its like going back to being high school and reminiscing memories with every rifle drill execution and marches. And the other way of supporting the organization, I also have to practice the narration for their Fancy Drill competition which was held at SM NorthWing Car Park. Yup! They wont the Grand Prize. Fun! Fun! Fun!

And to add load to more overly loaded activities to tend to, my 10-month old baby, Sappho Juno, also made contribution. She's a bitch, she's in heat and she badly wants to be devirginized. So I have to go meet Ms. Hazel and ask her if Sappho and her dog could do the "thing". And she agreed. (Thank you Ms. Hazel) ^_^

Finally the last confusing event. Two birthday invitations, One date, same hour. I wish I was Amor at that time so I could freely and speedily move from one place to the other. But I only look like her, minus the super aswang powers. So I have to attend the first one after the Sunday mass in the morning and the second one, at 5 pm. Yup! both of them, oh so love me that they wont accept "Friend, i cant go to your party. I'm really exhausted."

As a result of all these chaotic activities, I only accumulated 30 hours of sleep, with calorie intake of more than 5000 (thanks to the two birthday parties!) and alcohol intake of... I lost count.

So dont wonder if you see me walking like a zombies with dark under eyes and shrill, raspy voice. And no matter how chaotic that week was, and how sickly I've become, Im still glad all of ti happened. I learned a lot of things. From time management to all the how to's from the seminar. If you ask me if I will still accept the challenge of having this same schedule of events, my answer would be YES!

...but for now, my next step is to stock Fern-C in my room and snuggle with my pillows.



ta-ta! <3