Top 10 Reasons Why FB Drives Me Nuts
by: Mademoiselle Hazel Atilano
Once in a millennium, FB lifts me up. For instance, when friends and former students remember that I exist, or that April 9 is my birthday, or when some cerebral neanderthal posts a comment of philosophical value on my wall. More often than not, FB just gets my goat the second I log in. Here are the reasons why:
No. 10: Those "virtual" farm gifts which include virtual cherry trees, virtual cows, and virtual dogs, among others. And an invitation to harvest somebody's virtual crops??? Then again, what can I expect from this virtual world?
No. 9: Those stupid updates, like "Marky found a sad Ugly Duckling on their farm. Oh no!" So freakin' what????
No. 8: This preposterous photo tagging, which is really nothing but some person's approximation of your personality, which actually amounts to nothing (just a waste of time). So freakin' what if I'm the "wallflower" at parties or the "Obnoxious B!t+#" among us???
No. 7: Profile pictures that DON'T look like the closest resemblance of your profile, because it's either too abstract or too absurd.
No. 6: More stupid quizzes, like HOW GAY ARE YOU? WHICH FILM CHARACTER ARE YOU IN REAL LIFE (WTF???) ARE YOU A FAITHFUL LOVER? (Would you say otherwise?) What's next? ARE YOU MORE PHOTOGENIC IN REAL LIFE?
No. 5: Social Interview Questions like, "Does Hazel look good in her profile picture?" wtf?! OF COURSE I DO! / and "Who is hotter, Hazel Atilano or you?" OF COURSE I AM! Are you freakin blind???
No. 4: Photos of someone's virtual pet kissing your virtual pet. That's freakin sick, man!
No. 3: Relationship Status: It's Complicated. This is utter nonsense. If it's complicated, it's not a relationship; it's an ISSUE, people. It's something you need a shrink for. You're either SINGLE or STUPID.
No. 2: Yoville, Farmville, Pet Society and other manifestations of our collective hidden desires and unanswered needs. If we think these will make up for all that we can't achieve in real life, then we don't really exist; we're just characters in a Wachowski Brothers' sci-fi flick called "Matrix."
No. 1: FB being used by egotistic/egocentric politicians who seek free self-promotion. No need to expound.
So, why am I still on FB, if it drives me crazy? If you've been tagged, you're one of the few reasons why. So, keep me sane.
*got this Note post from Ms. Hazel. Ms. Hazel is my professor for 2 literature classes, 2 major subjects, 1 research class, and minor in French. *wink*wink*
